You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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