hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
