I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
