when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
