all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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