I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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