this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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