Can i not drive my cunt home
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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