Define "chronic" masturbator.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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