do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
