you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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