you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need a beard to bite.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
