shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
