She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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