i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
