I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
