Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
