So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
