i love accidental penises.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
