Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
