Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had to cum in my sink.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
