That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
