Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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