Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
