Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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