so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
