you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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