Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
