girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
