Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
