whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
