we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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