totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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