Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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