I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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