So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
