omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
