I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
