Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
