I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
