I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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