Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
