Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
