In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
