Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She made me pour olive oil on her.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
