Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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