i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
