all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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