If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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