Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
